Laziness or Illiteracy?: Black, Gay Culture & Conversations Online

“I’ve had it with BGC (Black Gay Chat Live)!” I yelled at my computer, after checking my mail where a ‘brutha’ left me a message with “Sup?” as its only content. What does “sup?” mean? Of course, I know that it is an abbreviation for “What’s up?” But knowing that doesn’t make it any less frustrating. And then, upon reading several profiles from the sordid mixture of gay, bi-sexual, and Down-low brothers, I really became frustrated at the myriad of spelling errors, bad grammar and quite offensive language that many of them used routinely. This phenomenon leaves me wondering if these brothers do this out of laziness or illiteracy. There should be cause for concern if the latter is true because on further investigation, I find out that many of these men have college degrees or are – at the very least – pursuing some form of tertiary education. If it is, in fact, the former, then what is the whole point of posting a profile with such base standards? Most gay, Black men will probably find their lovers and future husbands online. That is the reality and the zeitgeist of this age, so it is important to put our best “virtual” foot forward, isn’t it?
I expressed this concern to a few friends, and the reaction was mixed. A few of them are in my camp, agreeing with me completely that these men, like me and many other non-gay people, are members of a society whose primary and secondary education system did not always aptly prepare many of us to take on the intellectual complexities of life. My other friends delineated themselves with the, “who-gives-a-damn?” club. In other words, why should anyone take these profiles seriously? “It’s all a game anyway,” they say. Well, perhaps, they are right. Why should we take them seriously? However, the whole point of posting these profiles is to meet men for fun or a possible relationship, right? Therefore, if that is the case, then we should give a damn, granted that having fun or finding a relationship is important to us.
Now, I do understand that not everyone is a master typist, poet or wordsmith, but what about a profile, whose content is certainly going to have more permanency than an instant message? With a profile, each subscriber can take time to choose the right words, sentence structures and develop his particular voice or tone. Therefore, it seems to me that more time and effort should be expended and expected when creating one. Are my standards for online etiquette too high, perhaps? Am I being unrealistic in my expectations of my same-gender-loving brothers?